While worshipping Satan . . .

[withahip]

I get this strange wiff of cheese. Limburger. Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone have any interesting Satan worship stories to share?

[JackT]

Kyle Gass: What's she like?
Jack Black: She's totally into Satan.
Kyle Gass: You love Satan.
Jack Black: I know. She's got her spine pierced.
Kyle Gass: Dude, you're totally into spinal piercing.
Jack Black: And she loves to clog.

[Frank The Bunny]

I get this strange wiff of cheese. Limburger. Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone have any interesting Satan worship stories to share?

It's the sulfer.

And in true Ian McCulloch fashion - I don't worship Satan. Satan worships me.

[moses (2)]

It's the sulfer.

And in true Ian McCulloch fashion - I don't worship Satan. Satan worships me.

I worship Santa

[Mr. Brian]

There is a church near my house called St Anne's Church. Because of the way the old wooden sign looked and how some letters had darkened, if you just glanced at it, it looked like Satan's Church. They have a different sign now or I'd post a pic.

[JackT]

I worship Santa

hey I already used that joke in a previous thread! Foul!

[moses (2)]

hey I already used that joke in a previous thread! Foul!

the best ones are always worth repeating

[black francis]

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: Why so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!

Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Satan: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Diet Tab and Fresca ... we drink 'til we throw up and then we drink some more! And we don't worry about getting a hangover because we're dead anyway.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great!

Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!!

Satan: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer -- no biggie, you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow...that's awesome!

Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt ... you're dead anyhow.

Satan: What about drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Satan: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares.

Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!

Satan: You gay?
Guy: Hell no...

Satan: Ooooh (grimaces), then you're gonna hate Fridays.

[JackT]

heh good one. Hey bf, have you decided to embrace your heritage with your new luchador avatar?

[withahip]

I switched to Satanism originally because my girlfriend and I got tired of following the Laws of Leviticus. She hated sacrificing 2 birds after each lady's day.

And now that cows no longer chew cud and eat corn feed we were vegetarian. Forget that.

[black francis]

heh good one. Hey bf, have you decided to embrace your heritage with your new luchador avatar?

Si.

[black francis]

I switched to Satanism cause I heard about the orgies.

[withahip]

I switched to Satanism cause I heard about the orgies.

That was a gyp, huh? Stuck in a room with ten guys who look like Ron Jeremy and five chicks talking to each other like they are Stevie Nicks on The View morning show is not what I call an orgy.

[black francis]

We sacrificed the one half way decent looking chick in the room. The rest of them looked like Frank the Bunny with long hair.

[withahip]

We sacrificed the one half way decent looking chick in the room. The rest of them looked like Frank the Bunny with long hair.

You really need to get your priorities straight.