STOP THE PRESS!

[meh]

Study shows Americans love songs about sex

Leading professor's analysis finds 10 sex references in each of 2009's best-selling songs


A new study shows Americans like their music sexy.

After analysing the top-selling country, pop and R&B songs in 2009, for lyrics that had "reproductive messages", namely tracks by Rihanna, Katy Perry and LMFAO, scientists found the vast majority of hits had sexy references.

"Approximately 92% of the 174 songs that made it into the Billboard Top 10 in 2009 contained reproductive messages," said Dawn R. Hobbs, psychology professor at the State University Of New York and lead author of the study in Evolutionary Psychology.

For the survey, songs were checked for 18 specially chosen, sexually themed references, including 'genitalia', 'infidelity' and 'mate guarding'.

The study found the best-selling songs had "an average of 10.49 sex-related phrases per song", according to The Atlantic Wire.

Proof, if it were still needed, that sex sells - but it's not a new strategy.

Elsewhere in her study, Professor Hobbs found that did the trend not only stretch back to the birth of rock'n'roll, but to opera.

"While the frequency of some of the themes differ," she added, "these findings clearly show that the same reproductive categories derived from the content analysis of our initial sample of 2009 contemporary songs map surprisingly well onto the lyrics from opera and arts songs dating back hundreds of years."




WOW! who'd have thought?

[the ghost of guitarplayer]

Scientists also found that 99.9% of the top-selling country, pop and R&B songs in 2009 were shite. Proof, if it were still needed, that sex sells - especially when there is nothing else going for a bland repetitive tune that the big-wig music industry desperately needs to chart to make money.

Elsewhere in her study, Professor Yaffle found that the trend did not only stretch back to the birth of rock'n'roll, but to opera as well as the Renaissance and the Baroque period.

"While the frequency of some of the themes differ," she added whilst rigorously masturbating to Jessie J's latest hit tune "F**k Me Right Now", "these findings clearly show that the same reproductive categories derived from the content analysis of our initial sample of 2009 contemporary songs map surprisingly well onto the lyrics from opera and arts songs dating back hundreds of years, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh".

[the puppet]

Does NWA's song "Fuck the police" fall under this category?

[Voodoo Billy]

Only if the fuck them within a loving relationship.