My marriage.......

by **fat cherry** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:34 am

in your wife's defence, i'm not sure i'd want mac watching me have my meat and two veg every evening. I guess i got off lightly - though i did remove my vinyl at the earliest opportunity. CDs I wasn't so bothered about but she took umbrage anyway suggesting we share them equally as they were part of our relationship (funnily this didn't extend to the house) even though 95% were mine before we met, and i left wet wet wet and bananarama behind. At the final meeting to sort such things i gave up while she claimed several albums she'd only ever referred to using sentences such as 'can you turn that fucking shit off' and one cracking compilation her brother gave me. All i can think was that the new bloke ran his eyes down the cd tower and said, hmmm, haven't got that, that looks nice, oo bit of a cracker there etc. I can smile about it now, as moz sings, but at the time it was terrible. Still, at least no solicitors got any of my cash. bastards.

by **Dave Smith** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 8:40 am

fat cherry wrote:in your wife's defence, i'm not sure i'd want mac watching me have my meat and two veg every evening. I guess i got off lightly - though i did remove my vinyl at the earliest opportunity. CDs I wasn't so bothered about but she took umbrage anyway suggesting we share them equally as they were part of our relationship (funnily this didn't extend to the house) even though 95% were mine before we met, and i left wet wet wet and bananarama behind. At the final meeting to sort such things i gave up while she claimed several albums she'd only ever referred to using sentences such as 'can you turn that fucking shit off' and one cracking compilation her brother gave me. All i can think was that the new bloke ran his eyes down the cd tower and said, hmmm, haven't got that, that looks nice, oo bit of a cracker there etc. I can smile about it now, as moz sings, but at the time it was terrible. Still, at least no solicitors got any of my cash. bastards.

brilliant FC.

by **Scouser** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:04 am

black francis wrote:Sorry to hear about your marriage Dave. I get the feeling when mine ends the Star Wars art and my tennis racquets will be added to the endangered species list if I don't act quickly.

But who would get custody of the windows?

by **Voodoo Billy** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:42 am

Scouser wrote:But who would get custody of the windows?

If his appendage sticks out like his 1970s windows I doubt MrsBlackFrancis will be filing for divorce any day soon.

by **black francis** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 12:55 pm

I keep the windows and my will has been ammended that in the event of my untimely demise Scouser and Voodoo Billy each get one. The other appendage will be removed, dipped in bronze and given to the Make a Wish Foundation.

by **Voodoo Billy** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 1:13 pm

black francis wrote:The other appendage will be removed, dipped in bronze and given to the Make a Wish Foundation.

Maybe Girlwithnoname and Malbert could have it on a timeshare.

by **Scouser** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 1:30 pm

Half a bloody 70's looking window? After all we have been through together and our mutual man love for Alan Wilder...is that all I mean to you? Don't I even get a turtle (Raws or Jaws, either will do).

I feel as let down as Smiffys wife now.

by **Voodoo Billy** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:12 pm

After some deep soul searching I have decided that it is only right that Scouser should take custody of both your 1970s windows BF, as wherever they are they should at least be together.

by **black francis** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:13 pm

Chin up Scouser! I would never insult you and all we've been through with half a window. I have two of those sweet babies. You get a full window (the larger of the two of course), one turtle and my Martin L. Gore sunglasses.

by **Voodoo Billy** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:18 pm

I was trying to show some compassion until I discovered I was only being offered the smallest of your two 1970s windows. I have now changed my mind and would accept it after all, then I'd send it by first class post down to Ealing so that some hoodie can throw half a fucking breeze block through it. So there!

by **black francis** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:24 pm

Do what you want with the window but please care for the copy of Barely Legal that accompanies it. It's among my most treasured posessions.

by **Voodoo Billy** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 2:44 pm

black francis wrote:Do what you want with the window but please care for the copy of Barely Legal that accompanies it. It's among my most treasured posessions.

I hope you've laminated it. :eek:

by **Dave Smith** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 4:48 pm

Thanks for the advice lads!lol

by **the ghost of guitarplayer** » Tue Aug 16, 2011 5:02 pm

So is (Monto) Water Rats (Theatre) the one Dave where your band Mid-Life Crisis will be playing?

by **Scouser** » Wed Aug 17, 2011 12:42 am

the ghost of guitarplayer wrote:So is (Monto) Water Rats (Theatre) the one Dave where your band Mid-Life Crisis will be playing?

It's worth going just to hear their version of the Dolly Parton classic D.I.V.O.R.C.E

My marriage.......

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