Have you ever thought of what others life would be like if you weren't there? Meaning, really....gone.
Have you thought of the dark side w/ the afterlife? Have you thought what will happen to you? Are you interested in this side, not on a constant, daily basis or even intensified for that matter but, just a little bit of intrigue?
I know this sounds weird but, I love gothic art, architecture, poetry and symbolism. Plus, when I'm alone or feel alone (even when the room is crowded), I look around & observe in silence what things would be like if I wasn't there, meaning, what would my family, friends, work colleagues think?
Recently, I saw this very old movie where this woman wanted to commit suicide. The reason behind her depression was b/c of something similar in which I'm kind of going through in regards to "fitting-in", having true friends and being loved. The story went on how she tried to do so, yet, it showed life around her and the people it affected. It even showed 2 of her unborn children (b/c a man entered her life) were dead too. It was very creepy & sickening at points yet, very real, poignant & soulful. Even people she had not met yet, were even "hurt" b/c they knew she was gone. THAT in itself, was weird.
I had a long, long talk w/ several of my friends from Keflavik b/c they are spiritual in the way of their traditions & upbringings. I asked them these questions too & they all agreed in similarity.
I mean, have you really ever thought of it how the people around you would be? Would they even care? Do you think they would have pined for you, or even the people you never even met yet, just like I described in this movie?
Edward Gorey's art at times describes what I mean. Or, the children's book, Emily the Strange. Or an image of lonely crows, ravens, black cats & black, pointy umbrellas in the rain.
It's weird how one can look so "normal" & "fitting" on the outside yet, all of these internal feelings are brewing.....the dark side can be scary but, it can also be so truthful.
What do you think of this intensity, the dark side? Have you ever thought about it what I asked about being gone? Just asking.....