Eurovision

[Dr Evil]

The UK song was so bad it even makes "The Fountain" seem like a work of genius in comparison. A great band can survive entering Eurovision with it's credibility intact and publicity into the bargain (Abba anyone) so why has the standard dropped to such a low level?

[fat cherry]

well Abba were in it when it was a less cynical time - we used to have 'pop stars' in it all the time - cliff, er, lulu, er, was Lulu in it. Cant help thinking that wogan was right in that its the block voting amongst eastern europeans makes it a bit pointless - having said thsat Germany won didn't they so I dont know. And dont care really. Its funny that pete waterman was behind it and it just flopped. Only heard it once and it sounded like they had tried to write an abba song - but thirty years too late. And having said that abba had a bit of a hit with waterloo but their massive success didn't come for a few years after that. I htink its time for us to pull out really. Seems like a massive waste of cash - either that or throw it open again to different writers and half decent band, something different anyway.

[fat cherry]

A great band can survive entering Eurovision with it's credibility intact and publicity into the bargain

though maybe they cant take the drubbing they're almost bound to get and thats why its unknowns that do it these days. Wasn't morrissey linked at some point and then he made it clear he wouldn't be associated, must be hard for a huge ego to think about doing it. Plus wasn't it a bit Xfactor-ish in the way they did it. we ought to pursuade jarvis cocker to do it.

[Dave Smith]

I thought fuck it Im off to the pub.Id rather watch Nun's making spongecakes than watch that shite.Its a strange pub I go to.

[the ghost of guitarplayer]

I take it the UK didn't win... again. That's what you get for entering Peter Waterman-penned 1980s Rick Astley b-sides for you, and then billing it as a catchy ditty that everyone will remember and vote for. Having just heard a snippet of the winning entry, getting a singer to speak words in a mockney accent out of tune, albeit with a German accent, probably would have been enough to win, as it obviously was. Shame Lily Allen has retired from music.

[Kounelaki]

Having just heard a snippet of the winning entry, getting a singer to speak words in a mockney accent out of tune, albeit with a German accent, probably would have been enough to win, as it obviously was.

The German mockney was really awful. On the plus side, the Serbian singer looked like Jimmy Krankie and the Danish one like Julian Cope.

[the ghost of guitarplayer]

I suppose that takes the boredom out of enduring three hours of Eurovision, doing a bit of look-a-likey spotting. Sadly, they look like them but can't write a tune or sing like them. See what you mean about Julian. Don't know about wee Jimmy Krankie.

I was surprised and delighted to learn that Iceland entered Björk in this year's Eurovision, but how comes she didn't wipe the board of that mediocre Eurotrash shit nonsense? Hang on, she is called Hera Björk and she is an overweight fish wife from Höfn. Glad I didn't watch it.

[Dr Cheese]

Who gives a shite, it's Eurovision for fucks sake!

[Voodoo Billy]

I thought fuck it Im off to the pub.Id rather watch Nun's making spongecakes than watch that shite.Its a strange pub I go to.

I've never sampled a nun's spongecake, how would you describe it? (dry springs to mind)

[the ghost of guitarplayer]

I dunno, it surely must be better than priests' banana cake.

[moses (2)]

I dunno, it surely must be better than priests' banana cake.

a priest has a hobby of raising hens and roosters

one sunday morning before mass he goes out to feed them and sees that one of the roosters has escaped

later that day he makes an announcement at mass

"Has anybody here got a cock?"

All the men in the congregation stand up

" Maybe I neeed to rephrase that -- has anybody here seen a cock this morning ?"-

Half the women stand up

" OK -- has anybody seen my cock?".

2 alterboys and 3 nuns stand up and a goat at the back bleats