Do you think you could Manage the Bunnymen Better

[tonywojo]

The Next Bunnymen Album - Excerpts From Scousers Studio Tapes

Day 1

9.07am Will arrives, tunes guitar. No sign of Mac.

10.13am Will makes coffees (I have a Latte, Will has an Americano). No sign of Mac.

1.33pm Lunch. I send out for pizza. Will has a Pot Noodle. Mac still absent.

3.46pm Will dusts around studio, I do a Soduku. No reply from Macs mobile.

4.07pm Will has to leave to clean out the Gerbils. I play Tetris on my I Phone.

5.56pm Mac arrives with an H&M carrier bag full of lyrics and a demo tape. He drops them off before heading off into town for a colonic irrigation.

5.57pm I read through lyrics. Lyrics are non specific and full of spelling mistakes. Decide to play demo tape instead.

6.43pm Lose will to live. Demo tape is crap.

6.47pm - 11.46pm Record free jazz, drum n bass, improvised jam ready for Mac to add his lyrics in the morning.

Day 2

9.03am Will arrives and listens to my mix. Likes them and overlays reverb drenched guitar and droning keyboards. We high five each other. This could be a Bunnymen masterpiece. Decide the drums needs beefing up so ask Chris Sharrock to do some drum fills on the faster numbers. Will now alive with ideas and new possibilities. Mac leaves message at Reception he cant make it to the studio.

10.36am - 6.11pm. Album starting to take shape. Bring in string quartet and choir for final track. Record the backing and then let Will improvise a devastating two minute guitar outro over the top that he nails in one take. Mix the results and we both have tears in our eyes.

Day 3

9.09am Start to mix opening track which is a sample of a crashing wave looped and inverted till it sounds massive with Will manipulating his effects pedal to get a wailing, keening guitar sound. When they are overlapped it sounds almost supernatural, definately otherworldly and supreme.

10.11am Mac arrives and demands to hear progress so far. Excitedly me and Will play him the fruits of our labours.

11.09am Mac apopletic with rage. Demands he re-record all Will's guitar parts and asks management to sack me.

11.10am I am sacked.

11.13am Master tapes erased. Will weakly protests. Mac orders him to go to Starbucks and get him a double shot Espresso and a muffin.

12.19am Mac has called in top production team Xenomania (Girls Aloud) to complete the album. Sounds like every Bunnymen album post Grey. Only worse. Will cheers himself up with a Pot Noodle.

1.56pm Dave Smith writes on Facebook "Cant wait for new Bunnymen album"

2.46pm Mac finishes for the day, orders Will to put all the equipment away and turn off the lights on his way out.

4.49pm Will, by now alone, shoots one final glance back at the mixing desk where he so nearly made the Bunnymen relevant again. He reaches for his bag, checks he has his bicycle clips, and turns out the lights. Slowly he makes his way to the dark and rainy car park. From a distance, in the dwindling light, he shuffles home. Alone.





The End

you missed an apostrophe in the first sentence.

otherwise v v funny.

thanks

[Lancashire Fusileer]

The Next Bunnymen Album - Excerpts From Scousers Studio Tapes

Day 1

9.07am Will arrives, tunes guitar. No sign of Mac.

10.13am Will makes coffees (I have a Latte, Will has an Americano). No sign of Mac.

1.33pm Lunch. I send out for pizza. Will has a Pot Noodle. Mac still absent.

3.46pm Will dusts around studio, I do a Soduku. No reply from Macs mobile.

4.07pm Will has to leave to clean out the Gerbils. I play Tetris on my I Phone.

5.56pm Mac arrives with an H&M carrier bag full of lyrics and a demo tape. He drops them off before heading off into town for a colonic irrigation.

5.57pm I read through lyrics. Lyrics are non specific and full of spelling mistakes. Decide to play demo tape instead.

6.43pm Lose will to live. Demo tape is crap.

6.47pm - 11.46pm Record free jazz, drum n bass, improvised jam ready for Mac to add his lyrics in the morning.

Day 2

9.03am Will arrives and listens to my mix. Likes them and overlays reverb drenched guitar and droning keyboards. We high five each other. This could be a Bunnymen masterpiece. Decide the drums needs beefing up so ask Chris Sharrock to do some drum fills on the faster numbers. Will now alive with ideas and new possibilities. Mac leaves message at Reception he cant make it to the studio.

10.36am - 6.11pm. Album starting to take shape. Bring in string quartet and choir for final track. Record the backing and then let Will improvise a devastating two minute guitar outro over the top that he nails in one take. Mix the results and we both have tears in our eyes.

Day 3

9.09am Start to mix opening track which is a sample of a crashing wave looped and inverted till it sounds massive with Will manipulating his effects pedal to get a wailing, keening guitar sound. When they are overlapped it sounds almost supernatural, definately otherworldly and supreme.

10.11am Mac arrives and demands to hear progress so far. Excitedly me and Will play him the fruits of our labours.

11.09am Mac apopletic with rage. Demands he re-record all Will's guitar parts and asks management to sack me.

11.10am I am sacked.

11.13am Master tapes erased. Will weakly protests. Mac orders him to go to Starbucks and get him a double shot Espresso and a muffin.

12.19am Mac has called in top production team Xenomania (Girls Aloud) to complete the album. Sounds like every Bunnymen album post Grey. Only worse. Will cheers himself up with a Pot Noodle.

1.56pm Dave Smith writes on Facebook "Cant wait for new Bunnymen album"

2.46pm Mac finishes for the day, orders Will to put all the equipment away and turn off the lights on his way out.

4.49pm Will, by now alone, shoots one final glance back at the mixing desk where he so nearly made the Bunnymen relevant again. He reaches for his bag, checks he has his bicycle clips, and turns out the lights. Slowly he makes his way to the dark and rainy car park. From a distance, in the dwindling light, he shuffles home. Alone.





The End

This first bit sounds remarkably like the great lost Teardrop explodes LP (runs)

Will should just join British Sea Power and have done with it.

[Scouser]

All joking aside. The Bunnymen will probably sell more or less the same amount of albums no matter they put out, The Fountrain hardly set the charts on fire. So why not do something new? Try some new sounds? Challenge the audience?

One reason and one reason only - Mac.

As for the lost third Teardrops album - do you mean "Everybody Wants To Shag The Teardrop Explodes" that came out about 10 years after they split (and now you cant get)? The one that starts with Ouch Monkeys. Now that did push the boundaries...

[Mr. Brian]

The Next Bunnymen Album - Excerpts From Scousers Studio Tapes

Day 1

9.07am Will arrives, tunes guitar. No sign of Mac.

I don't think anyone is expecting Mac anywhere at 9:07am. He doesn't strike me as the type who even gets up before 11:00am so this whole thing is obviously bogus.

[Scouser]

Damn - caught red handed. Please delete Dave Smith's account as punishment.

[Dave Smith]

Dave Smiths account.So good they named it twice.

Bastard-you just deleted one!

[moses (2)]

Scouser

you bring a tear to my eye -- "those in the eye sockets in my skull -- hah BF phrased that to be inuendo free"


will you produce my album

[Scouser]

I'm not cheap (like BF's mother)

[black francis]

Cheap makes for high volume. Mom's like the Costco of cheap moms. I'm proud.

Moses, they can't all be homo-erotic dick jokes or I lose some of my effectiveness.

[Lancashire Fusileer]

As for the lost third Teardrops album - do you mean "Everybody Wants To Shag The Teardrop Explodes" that came out about 10 years after they split (and now you cant get)? The one that starts with Ouch Monkeys. Now that did push the boundaries...

That´s the fucker, probably their best, regardless of what Cope says.

[Scouser]

I had it on vinyl, would love to get hold of it on cd...

[shadows on the trees]

I'm not cheap (like BF's mother)

BF's mom was the best lover I ever had. T-I-G-E-R.

[DivaDiana77]

As for the lost third Teardrops album - do you mean "Everybody Wants To Shag The Teardrop Explodes" that came out about 10 years after they split (and now you cant get)? The one that starts with Ouch Monkeys. Now that did push the boundaries...

Um, wait, are you telling us that was a "real" album? LOL.
I don't want to shag any of them. I know that must come as a surprise Jooooolian Cope. But really, I've been coping fine without him for years.

[vertigone]

As for the lost third Teardrops album - do you mean "Everybody Wants To Shag The Teardrop Explodes" that came out about 10 years after they split (and now you cant get)? The one that starts with Ouch Monkeys. Now that did push the boundaries...

Ouch Monkeys is one of my top 3 fave songs of theirs. Strange House in the Snow and Soft Enough for You are other good ones on that. 2 other songs were redone on Cope's first solo album.

[vertigone]

Um, wait, are you telling us that was a "real" album? LOL.
I don't want to shag any of them. I know that must come as a surprise Jooooolian Cope. But really, I've been coping fine without him for years.

Well Cope and the Teardrops aren't for everybody, but there's a lot more to them beyond Reward, or World Shut Your Mouth for that matter.