Mouse Poison

[JackT]

So, I have been having this problem with critters in my shed. (Sounds like a euphemism, like "bun in the oven.) Even after taking measures to keep grass seed and the like sealed in plastic bins, the mice still find reason to go in there and poop everywhere.

I decided I had to take matters into my own hands and do away with them, one way or the other. As I am not man enough to face the consequence of my own actions, I decided against traps and went with the "green block o' delicious poison" method. It worked pretty well; after about a week, I stopped getting customers.

I'm assuming they just went off and died somewhere convenient. One time, though, my brother had a similar problem, albeit in his mouse-infested apartment in Brooklyn. He went the poison route, and one of the mice went off and died inside his oven, which ended up being a really really bad scene.

I was just thinking that if some anonymous stranger put out a box of a dozen poisoned donuts where I work, by the end of the day you would have 12 dead people. We will eat any strange donut we come across, no questions asked.

[black francis]

Or lick a deposit envelope for an ATM which has been sitting out for God knows how long being handled by God knows who.

[kook]

Why not just get a cat?

[withahip]

Why not just get a cat?

I love finding half eaten mice in the house and receiving them as gifts in the middle of dinner.

[kook]

I love finding half eaten mice in the house and receiving them as gifts in the middle of dinner.

So there you go, then.

[insanejane]

Why not just get a cat?

That's the best suggestion!


We have a lot of rats in California (supposedly because of swimming pools) like other cities but there's some crazy law here that doesn't allow them to be poisoned either inside or outside, I forget which. They have to be caught and released somewhere else.
We have a lot of pretty fat neighbor's cats that hang around outside day and night here. Judging from their size, I'd say they're doing a good job. It saves the city a lot of work.

When I lived in NJ on the Hudson river, we had a lot of mice and rats because of the river. We had a bluestone floor basement with a dirt floor root cellar on one side. The mice always got in in the winter. They ALWAYS got the peanut butter out of the trap without it closing on them. I changed to glue traps and caught one once but it only got it's front feet stuck so it was running with the trap attached around the house. I put it outside and the next day I saw that the east coast neighbor's cats had finished the job.

Cats are the way to go!

[JackT]

Why not just get a cat?

Because then I would have a cat.

We used to have two, actually. They were dismissed when we moved to our current location.

[Frank The Bunny]

I was just thinking that if some anonymous stranger put out a box of a dozen poisoned donuts where I work, by the end of the day you would have 12 dead people. We will eat any strange donut we come across, no questions asked.

Mmmmmm... forbidden donut....

[moondance]

Jack is right. In an office, people will eat anything that's put out on the table for free.
One Russian guy came back from a visit back home with some obviously 10 year old, decomposing chocolate. It was gone in about 20 minutes.

No I didn't eat any of it!

[In The Margins]

I once pulled a pizza box with one slice in it out of the trash bin at work and put it on the countertop in the kitchen. The slice was all dried up and nasty looking. It was gone within an hour. But the box was left behind.

[JackT]

My favorite is when someone breaks a donut in half and leaves the other half because they don't want to get fat, even though they are already a big fat slob. You would think nobody would touch that other half of donut, but someone always does. My theory is that it was the original person coming back for the second half.

P.S. no offense to anyone who is fat--I myself have been on a slow decline toward obesity for a long long time.

[In The Margins]

I can't stand the half empty packet of hot chocolate or sweet and low/equal with the top so carefully folded under in case someone wants to use up the remainder left behind. When I see either one I throw it out.

[black francis]

My favorite is when someone breaks a donut in half and leaves the other half because they don't want to get fat, even though they are already a big fat slob. You would think nobody would touch that other half of donut, but someone always does. My theory is that it was the original person coming back for the second half.

P.S. no offense to anyone who is fat--I myself have been on a slow decline toward obesity for a long long time.

That was pretty offensive to those of us who split our donuts in half.

[Frank The Bunny]

That was pretty offensive to those of us who split our donuts in half.

You know how I know you're gay?

You like having your donut split in half.

[black francis]

You know how I know you're gay?

You like having your donut split in half.

Is that a euphemism for the chocolate starfish?