Godless scientists still won't listen

by **black francis** » Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:07 pm

http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/man-arr ... -49305387/

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."

Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.

by **Kounelaki** » Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:08 pm

Now we know where Dr Evil disappeared to.

by **black francis** » Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:13 pm

Or should we say....Eloi Cole! It all makes sense now. His time machine must have been a success and he's too busy saving planet Earth to post here.

God speed Dr. Evil.

by **Kounelaki** » Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:15 pm

Oh and

"full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist"

Things can only get better.

by **girlwithnoname** » Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:27 pm

Kounelaki wrote:Oh and

"full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist"

Things can only get better.

^^ I'll hold your hair back while you worship at the porcelain altar if you hold mine.

by **withahip** » Thu Dec 01, 2011 8:32 pm

What does a large Hardon Collider look like?

by **girlwithnoname** » Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:45 pm

I think a picture of it would violate the Villers Terrace Code of Conduct, hip.

by **kook** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:18 am

"It is a communist chocolate hellhole"

:lol:

love it!

by **kook** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:19 am

Kounelaki wrote:Oh and

"full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist"

Things can only get better.

I presume you're throwing up cos of the turn of phrase.
Say nowt against Brian Cox!

by **Kounelaki** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 2:19 am

kook wrote:I presume you're throwing up cos of the turn of phrase.

Yup.

by **kook** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 3:28 am

Kounelaki wrote:Yup.

Alrighty then ... :biggrin:

by **withahip** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:01 am

by **black francis** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:07 pm

kook wrote:"It is a communist chocolate hellhole"

love it!

A Kit-Kat one did not labor for is no Kit-Kat at all.

by **Voodoo Billy** » Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:35 pm

black francis wrote:A Kit-Kat one did not labor for is no Kit-Kat at all.

And two chocolate covered wafer fingers to you as well.

by **moses (2)** » Sun Dec 04, 2011 7:25 am

black francis wrote:http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/man-arrested-at-large-hadron-collider-claims-hes-from-the-future-49305387/

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Last year, the Japanese physicist Masao Ninomiya and Danish string-theory pioneer Holger Bech Nielsen put forward the hypothesis that the Higgs boson was so "abhorrent" that it somehow caused a ripple in time that prevented its own discovery.

Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole. "Bless him, he sounds harmless enough. At least he didn't mention bloody black holes."

Mr Cole was taken to a secure mental health facility in Geneva but later disappeared from his cell. Police are baffled, but not that bothered.

I was in Switzerland last week .. and at times I felt I had travelled back in Time.

Godless scientists still won't listen

Godless scientists still won't listen

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