Made my first pot of coffee tonight

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Re: Made my first pot of coffee tonight

Postby black francis » Sat Jan 06, 2018 1:28 pm

I would categorize that as a residual haunting. It's not actually someone's spirit but basically a recording or an imprint in the environment that replays itself and can be seen by certain individuals. As we get older and more jaded (not this lot of course) we aren't open to such experiences and they stop happening. Then there's the actual intelligent hauntings where a spirit will interact with the living.

Until recently all I've seen is balls of light and a shadow figure. One of my best friends and co-worker died last week and I have been having a rough go at it. We were so alike and had these great conversations. So much so that our supervisors finally gave up on us getting any work done when we were together. My first day at work without him and I was a mess, my eyes kept welling up with tears and my heart was hurting like it did when my brother died. I was staying to myself and I looked ahead and there he was, clear as day. He was healthy (he had lost about 60 lbs while fighting cancer), looked strong and happy looking. He had his one earphone in an ear like always and he looked up smiled at me. It was like he was letting me know he was alright and it gave me a lot of comfort. I saw him two more times that morning and then I started trying to see him but that was it and I haven't seen him since Monday morning. My co-worker Pete who also was tight with my friend came to me on Wednesday and he was feeling guilty about not attending the funeral. Since his mom's funeral he feels unable go to them anymore. The same day and roughly the same time I was seeing our friend he also saw him and he felt similar that Rick (we called him iPod) was letting him know it's okay. Not to feel guilty cause he understands. He was like that. He didn't judge anyone. One of the best, honest, most loyal and compassionate people I've ever met. And funny. We'd start talking about politics and 45 minutes later it would be about Star Wars or music. We called those conversations "penetrating each other with our emotional penises". When we'd text we'd end with "Emotional Penis 1 signing off".

It's funny even though I believe in ghosts and all that I still worry about what happens after death. I think iPod's visit was also meant to let me know there is a better place and it's not something to fear. We had so many conversations on the topic and he was a steadfast believer in the afterlife. After seeing him I'm a little less worried. I'm starting to feel like it's something to embrace and even look forward to in the hope I'll see my friends and family again.

Apologies for rambling. People at work don't want to talk about it and seem to be carrying on as usual. I don't want to carry on as usual and act like we didn't lose someone important to our lives. Generally I'm of the opinion we show people how much we care while they're still alive but I'm not ready to let iPod be forgotten.
With the Force as his ally he did battle with the Dark Lord. And he showed the measure of a true Jedi at a place called "The Death Star" where hope for the Galaxy was reborn. May all who struggle against tyranny hold his memory in their hearts
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Re: Made my first pot of coffee tonight

Postby crystal daze » Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:01 pm

Sorry for your loss BF.
There's times when I've been deeply indifferent
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Re: Made my first pot of coffee tonight

Postby fat cherry » Wed Jan 10, 2018 6:04 am

Ramble away BF, ramble away. Tough one.
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Re: Made my first pot of coffee tonight

Postby Voodoo Billy » Wed Jan 10, 2018 11:37 am

Very sorry to hear of your loss BF.
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Re: Made my first pot of coffee tonight

Postby black francis » Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:44 am

Thanks everyone. It's getting easier but every now and then something reminds me of him and my chest and throat get tight all over again. Nobody wants to talk about him and I find myself getting resentful about it. I know what he would tell me but we spent 8+ hours a day with him and then we'd get beers after, socialize with our families, etc. I don't know.

Some good news though: my brother living in Romania for the last decade or so with his wife had their first child (a boy) so our last name (Sanda) will hopefully live on for thousands of years. That's five boys between my brothers and I.
With the Force as his ally he did battle with the Dark Lord. And he showed the measure of a true Jedi at a place called "The Death Star" where hope for the Galaxy was reborn. May all who struggle against tyranny hold his memory in their hearts
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